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Joke of the Day

"pH number. So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, ""cn i hve ur pH no? :)"" To which I reply, ""7."""

"I got a letter from my sister. She just had a baby. But she didn't say whether it's a boy or girl. So I don't know if I'm an uncle or an aunt."

"Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape? A: The baritone."

"What do you call it when a shepherd can't find his ram? Memory loss."

"I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn't you come to my house - you could have had some of ours for free!"

"Did you know Captain Kirk has three ears? Left ear, right ear... and final front ear."

"You can find true happiness inside yourself! Haha, almost had you. I'll meet you at the liquor store."

"Racing car drivers The only profession where you are considered successful if you've had a checkered career."

"So the other day I called my girlfriend fa- All family and friends are welcome to the funeral"

"How do you cure a Polish heroin addict? Give him a plastic spoon"