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Joke of the Day

"What do you call alcohol distilled by the Avengers' enemies? Hydra-Gin"

"*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* ""ROAR"" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this ""GROWL"" hmm ""SHOUT"" hmmm ""YELL"" hmmmmm ""HOLLER"" oh its a thesaurus"

"Why did the cow get a divorce? Because she couldn't take her husbands bullshit."

"What was Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro."

"Why was Luke Skywalker banned from all the local pubs... He used excessive force"

"By tomorrow, no one will remember what happened in trees today"

"I joke but this Scotland thing is nuts. I mean...imagine if Canada ever tried to secede from the U.S."

"Love is like Wi-Fi You can't see it, but you'll know when you lose it."

"How does Seth Macfarlane wishes you Eid Mubarrak? Keep it in church, guys."

"I'm not sure I understand What The Hell you're talking about....But.....you're showing cleavage, so I will listen."