41503

Joke of the Day

"what did one eye say to the other eye ""I don't know about you but something smells between us"" and then the the other eye says, ""what, the nose or the asshole its stuck in?"""

"What do Muslims and the BBC have in common? They both cover up for pedophiles."

"I always choose Pepsi over Coca-Cola because I prefer my soda dehyphenated."

"I've been reading a book about the history of glue. I can't put it down!"

"When I get alzheimer's I'm going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day."

"This Jew says to me ""The 90s called, they want their shoes back."" ""The 40s called, your shower's ready."""

"Every squirrel is a flying squirrel if you've got a good throwing arm."

"'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"I read that having sex every day for a year could transform your marriage. It worked so well I'm thinking of suggesting it to my wife."

"Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took...."