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Joke of the Day

"How do you know the economy is only getting worse? On the latest episode of ""Celebrity Apprentice"", Donald Trump fired himself!"

"me: I'm tired Medieval Physician: Ok I'm gonna cut you open to drain your blood me: Maybe I could rest MP: haha no I'm cutting your veins"

"Looking at a playground, how can you tell which kid is the child of a trombonist? He doesn't know how to use the slide and can't swing."

"Theodore Roosevelt had sage words for men needing dating advice. Speak softly and have a big dick."

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas? NSFW Cancer"

"What kind of cars do jedis drive? A toy-*yoda*"

"Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter kek"

"What's the difference between a straight mustache and a gay mustache? The smell."