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Joke of the Day

"Why don't cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny."

"I like giving names to my furniture Right now i'm chillin' with Oscar the Couch"

"Double standards are amazing. If I take my top off I'm called a ""poser"". But if a women does it, suddenly I'm not allowed to masturbate?"

"Recent studies have shown that people who have hands larger than their face is a sign of intelligence. Wait, crap, I need to be there in person for this to work."

"My mum asked me what i had planned for easter. I told her same as Jesus. Im going out on Friday and i will be back on Sunday"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without some other guy's dick in it."

"What does a redneck do after she bangs her second cousin? She quits counting."

"What if dogs are way smarter than we think and they just play dumb so they don't have to work and pay taxes."

"My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"So a bum asked me for same change... A homeless man asked me for some change today. I said to him, ""Sorry, pal. You should know better than me that no one in this place has got _innocence_."""