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Joke of the Day

"My friend asks ""what is long hard and full of seamen"" random female says ""definitely not your dick."""

"A battery murdered another battery He was charged with murder and put in a duracell."

"Did you hear about the cow who gambled on an airplane? The steaks couldn't have been higher."

"Got into an argument with a cripple and won. He didn't have a leg to stand on."

"What is Cthulhu's favorite cookbook? The NecroNomNomNom!"

"Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight when you try to pick them up and get them in your car."

"Why did the student fail the exam? Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin"

"If we paid teachers more, they'd probably stop dating their students. At this point, a 16 year old working at Quiznos doubles their income."

"Why did Simba's dad die? Because he didn't Muv-fasta"

"A joke I tried to make about the difference between British and American government. (Bad language) One of our politicians fucked a pig's head All of your politicians are pig headed fuckers"