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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up"

"I suffer from Insomnia On the bright side; only 12 more sleeps til Christmas."

"Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around? Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take."

"What do you call a stupid, yellow cow? A Moo-tarde !"

"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"

"Will carrying a torch save you from an attacking bear? Depends on how fast you can carry it."

"Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard? They're all paws."

"What's a whale's favourite brand of hair gel? Krill Bream."

"Did you recover from your operation? Not yet. The doctor says I still have two more payments."

"The elevators aren't working and I work on the 10th floor. I just may become the first person ever to call in sick from the security desk."