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Joke of the Day

"Mom writes to her son in Poland's army: ""Dear Son, I am writing this letter ever so slowly..... ....because I know you cannot read fast"""

"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I am handsome I would have exactly one dollar.! Thanks Mom.!"

"Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for ""located"""

"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."

"Im sorry, but you only have two weeks to live *slides the doctor a five dollar bill* Ooooh make that 3 weeks buddy *winks at loved ones*"

"Rumours suggest Usain Bolt has been cheating on his wife. I'm amazed she hasn't caught him. Then I remembered that he can finish in 9.58 seconds."

"Can I borrow your G-String? Mine broke... said one guitarist to the other"

"How do you start a baby shower? Throw it into a wood chipper."

"haha how about we make a pact if we're both single in 6 seconds we get married?? haha look how nervous u are. times runnin out tho"

"*puts a picture of Roger Rabbit in a picture frame* I did it. I framed Roger Rabbit."