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Joke of the Day

"Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'"

"What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?! Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin."

"What do you call it when you accidentally drop a flower? An oopsy daisy."

"Did you see the newspaper report about the midget psychiatrist wanted by the police.... The headline said ""Small medium at large""... I'll see myself out!"

"I used to be schizophrenic. But we are ok now."

"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""

"What happens when you play the drums incorrectly? You get repercussions"

"In my country you can't fight with corruption but you can deal with it."

"Knock knock... Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget :("

"My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion."