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Joke of the Day

"My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion."

"""""No one ever"" - everyone always"" - a few people already damn"

"You'll be surprised how many people won't get the answer to this. Q: what's red and smells like blue paint? A: red paint."

"""Whats your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm bad at taking compliments"" ""Actually that's quite endearing"" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*"

"My Favorite Blonde Joke Having sex with a blonde is kinda like sitting down onto a warm toilet seat. It feels nice, but you gotta wonder who was there before you."

"In his defense, everyone sounds drunk when they say ""I'm Shia LaBeouf"""

"My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai."

"I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist !"

"Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25"

"Why do feminists hate church music? Because of all the Hymns."