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Joke of the Day

"Heading upstairs to bed last night I started to pull my boxers off... The wife said 'You spoil them dogs!'"

"You'll end up real disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do."

"I knew someone who poured milk before the cereal..... He was a cereal killer"

"There was a failed art theft today... the robber reportedly was foiled because he didn't have enough Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh."

"I'm not racist, I love black people.. so much I think everyone should have one for themselves."

"I passed a homeless guy who asked ""Any change!?"" I said ""Nope, your still dirty and homeless"". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me"

"What bill is the Congress's favorite? Of course the $ bill!"

"My girlfriends father wont let us sleep together when I stay over Which is a shame because he's a very attractive man."

"What sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother."

"How do fireflies start a race? Ready steady glow!"