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Joke of the Day

"I am terrified of elevators I am going to start taking steps to avoid them"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are together in a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. No land in sight. No ships in sight. Who survives? The American people."

"Lactose intolerance stems from lactose IGNORANCE"

"When ppl I know try to explain a problem they're having w/ someone I don't know, I think, ""when I get home I'm going to eat food & watch TV"""

"Women have more than one connection to lungs. If you put a finger inside the vagina it feels like suffocating to them."

"What do you call a booth babe at Apple's events? ICandy"

"I think Christmas is made for Mexicans only... ...why else would you wish Merry Christmas to every Juan!? *badumtss*"

"From what I hear about time spent with abortion doctor's they're really not all that bad Many patients have claimed it's really brought the kid out in them."

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this to be in base 3."

"What did the pirates say who stole Kim Kardashians jewelry? We wanted her booty!"