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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Australia and yogurt? At least if you leave yogurt alone for a while it develops a culture."

"Why are there no knock knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. 'Murica"

"Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money."

"Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see"

"What did the man say while holding a square clock? I'm holding Time Square!"

"Who is the biggest prostitute alive? Mrs. Pacman. For 25 cents she'll swallow balls until she dies."

"No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie. They're all use to Klingons."

"Whats white blue and rectangular? A fridge with a denim jacket on."

"Hooker What did the guy say to the hooker after he was finished? Well I'm going to leave it with you!"

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"