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Joke of the Day

"Recently I'm having a lot of bad dates! I've to try grapes now!"

"In Tesla Motors you... Don't drive car, car drives you."

"Some of you talk more than my wife. The good news is I can just unfollow you instead of burying you in the back yard to shut you up."

"Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR? They told him he was good at deriving"

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar - The bartender looks up and says 'get the fuck out of here!'"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he ain't comin'."

"How do Itallian chefs swap emails? By spaghett-e-mail!"

"Q: Why did the ghoul knit herself three socks? A: Because she grew another foot."

"[therapy] HIM: Should we talk about the elephant in the room? ME: I don't like to talk about him ELEPHANT: Ok wow I'm like right here man"

"Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane? So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her."