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Joke of the Day

"Just found out Cuba Gooding Jr is not from Cuba, but from New York. Leave it to a big name celebrity to be a huge liar"

"Apparently when your wife asks you to get your toddler off your bed she doesn't mean knock him off with a pillow"

"This Doctor... Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Doctor. Interup- You have cancer."

"What's the difference between a toilet seat and dinner? Dad doesn't piss all over his dinner. :D"

"Whenever I feel discouraged, I remember the words of my then-3 yr old after she puked carrots on the floor: ""I'm gonna need more carrots."""

"I was trying to have sex with my wife on Thanksgiving But she was too busy making dinner, Turkey shot down my jet"

"""Your place or mine?"" ""But, sir, I just met you. What makes you think I would be interested?"" ""Lady, let's be honest - why else would a 35-year-old woman be at carburettor exhibition?"""

"If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!"

"So a blind man walks into a bar He hurts himself pretty badly."

"Why did the bear dissolve in water? It was a polar bear"