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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I feel discouraged, I remember the words of my then-3 yr old after she puked carrots on the floor: ""I'm gonna need more carrots."""

"What do you call a sexually repressed bandit? Rubbin' Hood"

"This ones for those college students and there finals This is really just a good analogy. Finals are like plastic surgery, you go in with A's and you come out with D's!"

"What is afraid of pussy? Mice, what else?"

"I wish instead of Grammar Nazis there were Grammar Angels. They'd quietly whisper, ""Baby, you made a mistake. Let me fix it for you. -hug-"""

"A Freudian Slip A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother"

"Did it hurt? When I subtly insulted you to lower your self esteem in order to make you subconsciously seek my approval because I am a socio"

"I've always wondered why Rolf Harris never played any string instruments But I guess he figured out other ways to finger a minor"

"The phone cops got a new case. It fit snuggly."

"A couple has twins. If one is named Peter, what is name of second child? Repeater."