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Joke of the Day

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

"I cheated on my girlfriend once. I was playing monopoly and I took some money from the bank when she wasn't looking. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"What did the recent KKK hit-and-run victim order at Starbucks? A flat white."

"I could tell you a joke about Bill Murray in Japan; it would be lost in translation."

"Instead of the Maternity Ward they should have called it the New Releases section."

"What do you call a joke without a punchline??"

"I understand why abortion is a touchy subject (NSFW) Because on one hand I'm all for killing babies but I really don't think women should have a choice in the matter"

"Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers? It's a shifty business."

"*tries to play a skeletons ribs like a xylophone* SKELETON: you cant...it's not- this is a mischaracterization perpetuated by the media"

"Dear Muslim refugees: just pretend to be Christian. That's what most Christians do anyways."