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Joke of the Day

"I raise the acceptable weight limit of potential sex partners everyday I go without getting laid. Today I hit 2 tons."

"Interviewer: So, Floyd can you give us amateurs some tips in the ring? Floyd: It's all about speed and quick reaction time- This Joke has been removed by 'Fine Brothers Entertainment'"

"I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend is in the future."

"A third grader opens the door and yells to his mom. ""Mom! Today I found out I have a bigger penis than all the other kids!"" ""That's because you're 23, Tyrone."""

"My boyfriend said to surprise him for his birthday so I moved all my stuff into his house while he was at work."

"Don't fall in love. You will get feelings and die."

"What do you call a cow that starts it's own nudie magazine? Hugh Heifer"

"How do they fit so many islands into such a small bottle of dressing??!!"

"What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Some day my prints will come!"

"If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men"