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Joke of the Day

"I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented ""rip"". Stop the internet, I wanna get off"

"Since Ghandi walked barefoot, and ate a diet giving him bad breath, he was... A super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis!"

"What's better than seeing a girl wrestle?... Seeing her box."

"IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?"

"it's cool that you're a nerd but it would be cooler if you were more quiet about it"

"""I have a dream that my children will live in a nation... not judged by the color of their skin, but by their follower count on Twitter."""

"I just went to see a presentation by a very charismatic frog. He was riveting."

"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"

"I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops. Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants."

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions."