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Joke of the Day

"Ghetto people are always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford: Mercedes, Diamond, Bentley, Pearl, Light Bill, Rent, Car Insurance."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"A duck walks into a store and says, ""Give me some fucking Chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Alright, settle down you feathered cunt... How are you going to pay for that?"" ""Oh, just put it on my bill."""

"T is for mugs"

"Does a Priest have a wife? He has nun."

"Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in a greenhouse when Watson says ""Is that an orange bush, Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson"""

"What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground!"

"My parents taught me that if I tried hard I could be anything I wanted to be. Sure they just meant for Halloween, but it was still nice."

"Girl are you a dinosaur? Cuz jurassic."

"I always feel bad for cantaloupes ... They just want to get hitched"