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Joke of the Day

"My daughters took turns tracing each other over and over with chalk. Now it looks like 25 children were murdered in my driveway."

"I like how commercials for gum seem to be predicting a cold, dystopian future where our survival depends on the freshness of our breath."

"My Executive Director said to me ""Well aren't you an eager beaver"" I was like ""Oh my God, Why? What have you heard???"""

"Why are math students so skinny? Because they buy no meals. (Binomials)"

"Why did the suicidal man cross the road? Because he wanted to play chicken."

"A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''"

"Dad Dinosaur: Look son a shooting star make a wish! Angsty Teen Dinosaur: I wish it would hit us and kill us all."

"being single in apartments is the best cos you can listen to couples fight all the time. so comforting. like being inside during a storm"

"Two mathematicians were chatting online... 1st mathematician: Gimme 5! 2nd mathematician: 120"

"I've got 40 raisins in my savings account ...oh no wait, that's my currant account."