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Joke of the Day

"The fastest and most deadly land mammal is a woman who has noticed another woman flirting with her man."

"[guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy."

"If I wanted to drive my wife insane, I'd secretly raise a colony of bees & place one new bee inside of her car each morning for ten years."

"All police should quit, just to teach us a lesson. We'll beg them to beat and gas us, but they'll be like nope, you didn't appreciate it"

"Why was the snowman smiling? He saw the snowblower coming"

"HUMMING BEES Q: Why do bees hum? A: They don't know the words."

"its 2013 and mcdonalds still doesnt serve breakfast all day"

"Why are a prostitute and a teacher so similar? They both get screwed"

"What do you call an alligator that wears a vest? An Investigator"

"I'm a man who hates rocks *smashes a rock with a sledgehammer* oh great I just made like a thousand more rocks"