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Joke of the Day

"[guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy."

"He already ruined your mascara, don't let him ruin your night."

"Just watched ""The Great Wall"" today... Pretty good documentary on America in a few years"

"What is amnesia? Is it: A) memory loss A) memory loss Or 3) The Battle of Hastings"

"What did the French philosopher say to the vegetable playing poker? All in, du thyme"

"6.9 is a very good thing fucked by a period."

"I once bought a hamster And told it to shank my sister. When it didn't, I shanked her myself, with my dick."

"How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat? One. It's a trick question."

"Every time I pinch a loaf; I think,""I don't knead this shit."""

"How many Freudian Analysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2. One to screw it in and the other to hold the penis---ladder!! I meant ladder..."