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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A stern rebuke from the Ethics Committee, and an immediate cessation of funding."

"What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon? Sow-r dough bread."

"A king gets murdered in his sleep... Two of his most loyal servants found the body, with a sword in the king's chest. One the servants turns to the other and says ""Wow, he must have had a bad knight."""

"How can you tell if your roommate's gay? His dick tastes like shit"

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief who can't drive."

"*ruins your party with a can of Serious String*"

"Is this InkJet any good? Sure, we've sold it to royalty Princesses? Mate, it prints ALL the letters!"

"The difference between dates and prunes? You don't get laid after prunes (Courtesy of my date last night after I asked her this question seriously)"

"Mario Bros. Plumbing (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfri.... (Read More)"

"Why can't I pay pay your mom for sex with my credit card? Because there's a minimum charge of 5 dollars."