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Joke of the Day

"My 9 year old ran away for an hour and by the time he came back my wife had already turned his bedroom into a yoga studio."

"Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said ""bc time killed the dinosaurs."" My kids are never leaving home are they"

"I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers"

"How do you find a dead body? Download Pokemon GO."

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant"

"What did the Hawaiian terrorists say when they blew up a restaurant? ALOHA SNACKBAR"

"The guy no one likes walked into a bar and said ""You lost The Game."""

"Fighter plane escorts a passenger jet in to Manchester airport as the pilot reported a suspicious item on board. The United team bringing back a trophy this season."

"Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!"

"Why is the rabbi in geometry? To practice circumscribing"