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Joke of the Day

"'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is getting a sequel How to lose friends and alienate people."

"What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics? Legs"

"I am 72% Jesus Jesus walked on water. Watermelons are 72% water. I can walk on watermelons. Therefore, I'm 72% Jesus."

"Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 3-year-old: A monster truck. I don't think insurance is going to cover that surgery."

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?"

"Why Did The Black Guy Crossed The Road? because... chicken.lel"

"One year later after Pavlov's dog death... Pavlov still brings him food."

"A baby seal walked into a club ..."

"Which is heavier: a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Depends on which weigh you think about it"