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Joke of the Day
"My deaf girlfriend just told me to fuck off. That's not a good sign."
Next Joke
 
"My work had a bake sale today We raised a lot of dough."
"What's Dale Earnhardt's favorite Pink Floyd album? Dark side of the moon. You sick bastard."
"Why are there no gays in a mental asylum? Because they can't wear a strait-jacket."
"Politics informs every aspect of my life. It affects how much money I have, how I spend it, and my work itself. Sorry, not politics. Pokemon"
"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out"
"I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable."
"What'd be worse? Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter?"
"I had sex with a girl and she kept shouting another guys name Who the fuck is rape?"
"Most conversations that occur over Bluetooth are about buying a used jet ski."