40373

Joke of the Day

"Dominos just called to let me know my pizza's on the way. They correctly assumed I'd need time to find my pants."

"Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri ""What do women want?"" She has been talking nonstop for the last two days."

"Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way We urn it."

"You know you're a mover & a shaker when HR rewrites the dress code for you. Whatever Anita, those tear-away pants looked fabulous on me."

"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"

"Knock Knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!!"

"Why is the Computer D Drive always sad? D:"

"Heard this one from my little brother. Poor Timmy... Him: Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Me: why? Him: Timmy has no arms. Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Him: Not Timmy."

"When wearing a bikini,women reveal 90% of their body....men are so polite they only look at the covered parts"

"Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore? They all lost their hearing"