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Joke of the Day

"Here at Smith Blarney cremation service we make money the old-fashioned way We urn it."

"The Great Yarn Race **Joe:** Did you hear about the great yarn race? **Jane:** No. Who won? **Joe:** Well, they had to weave their selves through the obstacles and in the end, it was a tie."

"The hardest thing about working in a restaurant is that your throat is always dry from spitting in everyone's food."

"I think the best way to prevent a polar bear from raping you is to just say ""Yes!"""

"My new favorite joke [Language] How do you get a little old lady to yell, ""Go fuck yourself!""? Get another little old lady to yell,""BINGO!"""

"Unless you are literally the Dark Lord Voldemort then a snake is just not an acceptable pet dude"

"What aspect of the game do women soccer players like most? Getting that good D"

"What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework? He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear."

"Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then you'd have to call them bagels."

"i like my beer like i like my women in large cups"