40372

Joke of the Day

"Canadian spelling is different from American spelling For example they spell the days of the week as Mondeh, Tuesdeh, Wednesdeh..."

"What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud? a dirty hooker"

"So a mushroom walks into a bar.. And the bartender says ""we don't serve your kind here"". The mushroom responds ""Why not? I'm a fungi!"""

"If you send Joseph Gordon-Levitt a script that doesn't say ""skinny tie"" on the first page, he gets so mad he has to write four ukulele songs"

"Did you hear about the jihadist birthday party? It was a blast."

"If you ever Google ""Grandfather Clock"", be careful how you spell that shit."

"The worst part about being introduced to new people is the panic moment where I think ""Pay attention! Pay attention!!!"" and miss their name."

"My Father was never proud of me One day he asked me, ""how old are you."" I said, ""I'm five"" he said,""when I was your age, I was six"""

"How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella , had the same sized feet as her ? She should play the lottery too !"

"Kids make friends in 5 seconds, adults make friends in 5 drinks."