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Joke of the Day
"What do you call drunken cunnilingus? Lick'er."
Next Joke
"You wake in a field, nude, grass stained elbows, knees and a condom in your ass, Do you tell anyone? No? Wanna come camping with me this weekend?"
"Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then."
"New children's book I'm working on: ""Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak""."
"Took my 3 year old to a lot of historic sites and whale watching today. Asked what her favourite part was and she said, ""The M&M's""."
"My robotics company will make SexBots Gonna call ourselves *Gears of Whore*."
"If the Charleston killer had been playing Call Of Duty... ...he would have 9 to 0 racial"
"So I listened to some LL Cool J then kept licking my lips like he does. I found myself in HR. Good thing I wasn't listening to KISS."
"I'm a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I'm your man."
"SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die."