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Joke of the Day

"Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat."

"Dear Santa, My ex was very naughty this year. But I was very good. So you can just send me all his presents."

"What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches? Because they're pirots!"

"What does a slave owner do with his slaves when he's finished with them? Races 'em."

"What is the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my dick in your ass"

"""Expecto me to be there"" Harry Potter RSVPing to a party"

"Just because a guy wants to see you naked it doesn't mean anything, I know a guy who drove 2 days to see a donkey show."

"An angry teenager from a Catholic home began dressing as a monk to mock his parents' faith. When asked by a friend how her son had been, the boy's mother replied, ""Well, he's been-a-dick-teen lately."""

"My greatest talent is being able to watching 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week."

"What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? I didn't make an enzyme last night."