40150

Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket. 'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'"

"A sadist doctor keeps his stethoscope in a fridge"

"""weed is a gateway drug"" ""to what? the fridge? Hahaha"" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*"

"its simple....yet horrific Want to hear a clean joke? The boy took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a man."

"I got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way."

"(NSWF) Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny? He heard little boys pants were 50% off..."

"'Calm Your Tits' is derogatory. Feminists reccomend, instead : 'De-stress the Breasts"",'Soothe your Boobs', 'Give that Chest a Rest', 'Don't have a Rack Attack' and 'Hakuna the Tattas'"

"At marathons I like to put glitter in cups so when participants grab one and throw it in their face they get a party instead of hydration"

"Most of being a parent means saying ""Great!!"" when your kid insists you watch him perform an unidentifiable skill."

"I'm expended, I'm expensive, And I'm expanded. ... Ijkwim."