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Joke of the Day

"'Calm Your Tits' is derogatory. Feminists reccomend, instead : 'De-stress the Breasts"",'Soothe your Boobs', 'Give that Chest a Rest', 'Don't have a Rack Attack' and 'Hakuna the Tattas'"

"Why did the blonde tip-toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills."

"Why do felines always win board games? Because they are cheetahs."

"What's purple-headed and makes women moan? Crib death."

"A stitch in time... Would confuse Einstein"

"If you ever take a bus and you don't stare out the window and pretend you're escaping your abusive mother, you're doing it all wrong."

"The Hunger Games Don't they play those in Africa?"

"What was it called when the dragon from The Hobbit was thrown out a window? The Defenestration of Smaug."

"I was kicked out for trying to have sex with a girl with down syndrome I wanted to lose my virginity to someone special."

"*Takes ex girlfriend's poem on Antiques Road Show* Sir these are worthless *Winks at camera* Told you Karen!"