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Joke of the Day

"God was able to create everything in only 6 days cause he didn't have a woman next to him telling him what color she wanted everything to be"

"Russians dolls. They're so full of themselves"

"Fixing my grandma's computer and I see that her search history is about seven various spellings of the name of the last guy I dated."

"It's 4:20 do you know what that means?!? It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done."

"I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable."

"If you're not using Social Media to spout your uninformed opinion then you're totally missing the point of the Internet."

"What is a snowman's favorite book ? War and Frozen Peas !"

"I rear-ended a guy on the way to work today Rectum."

"You couldn't even imagine how good I am at taking a fake phone call to get out of a boring conversation. It's Oscar worthy."

"MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face."