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Joke of the Day

"*plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*"

"Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is being at a party and feeling socially awkward."

"What's the sound that 10 stubby fingers make on a desk? *Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf Drumpf...*"

"Q. What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg? A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit) (Alternate: What do the British call a cookie that got wet?)"

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue ? cos he drank he coffee before it was cool..."

"Old Aussie joke: Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling? There are 48 heads in her box - of course she`s happy!"

"Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because a semi truck hit her."

"so I saw an ad on ebay about a book on how to scam on ebay so i bought it.. It still hasn't arrived."

"My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, ""You weren't even listening just now, were you?!"" I thought, ""Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."""