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Joke of the Day

"BE WARNED I am taking careful note of all of your sins and reporting back to God in my nightly prayers"

"*me holding a human baby* i think this cat is broken"

"I'd hit that. - women drivers"

"Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them."

"Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said ""Drac we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"" ""Yes"" replied Dracula ""have lots of giraffes."""

"Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison? The police reported a small medium at large."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ... Buh dum pshh!"

"Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games."

"What did Jesus do to lose weight? Crossfit"

"I found my first gray pubic hair today. It was in my Big Mac"