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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison? The police reported a small medium at large."

"What happens when you get a bladder infection? Urine trouble."

"What's the difference between my face and my jokes? People laugh at my face."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather But not like the rest of this joke, getting beaten like a dead horse"

"How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side."

"If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag."

"I used to watch TV, read the paper, and listen to the radio. Now I watch the internet, read the internet, and listen to the internet."

"When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?"

"[Dark humor/Offensive] The difference Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage."

"Just told my driving instructor to put his seat belt ON for his safety. I'm definitely going to get the license this time."