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Joke of the Day

"They say make up sex is the best... Good thing, because all the sex I have is made up."

"Are you guys all right? Or are you all left?"

"This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone's head."

"""Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"" ""Please wait someone else is using it."""

"I think three movies is a bit much for the hobbit. Seems like they're really dragon it out."

"Next time you're on a date and someone asks ""Is that your boyfriend or your brother?"" smile really creepy and whisper ""Both""."

"Why did the hipster drown, when he was iceskating? He was skating before it was cool"

"I think instead of ""LOL""....I'm gonna go with ""SALTS"" (Smiled a little then stopped). Its more truthful."

"Popeye teaches us that the best reason to eat healthy is revenge. #CartoonLifeLessons"

"What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings? A pterrorist"