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Joke of the Day

"Nobody Likes This. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."

"Life is like a penis [dirty] Life is like penis...... Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely.... Then a woman make it hard"

"That'll do it! How do you kill a vegetarian vampire? You stab him with a steak to the heart."

"I've been retracing my steps and now I have all these outlines of feet on my floor and still no keys."

"Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook not everyone wants to see you happy."

"Did ya hear about the cannibal lion with a huge ego? He had to swallow his pride"

"My Wife made me choose between her, and my Love of Pointing out Doors ""If you want to leave"" I told her, ""There's the Door"""

"I'm not religious until you need help moving on a Sunday."

"1992: Girls got undressed for their husbands. 1995: Girls got undressed for money. 2012: Girls get undressed for likes on Facebook and Instagram"

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"