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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a penis [dirty] Life is like penis...... Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely.... Then a woman make it hard"

"coworker asked me if I needed a hug and now he doesn't work here because people that are on fire can't work."

"Cashier: what's with all the pineapple juice? Me: *winks* -Spends the night making delicious umbrella drinks with my cat."

"(Anxiety/Depression joke) I'm always exhausted... except for my nervous energy."

"Did you hear about the kindergartener with a bad knee? He needed a kid knee transplant."

"todayilearned nothing"

"In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on ...before anyone knows how to use the colon."

"When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, ""no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."""

"We really are the most blessed generation. We've had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies."

"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir/Ma'am, We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons: 1. Illegal Downloading"