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Joke of the Day

"And the genius told me ""Do you want a big dick or a good memory ?"" Ho ! What did I choose ? I don't remember."

"The news about Charlie Sheen having HIV is the only positive thing I have been reading in my Facebook timeline all week. No pun intended."

"Don't glare at me lady! You're the one who named your kid Marco then yelled his name in the store!"

"How do you get certified as an interior decorator? You don't pull out"

"How do you censor real life hentai? Pubes"

"Impractical Joke: Replace my girlfriends house cat's with mountain lions so she think's she is shrinking."

"tomorrow I am going to find the tomb of Ben Franklin and whisper stories of old and lusty ladies into his ear, as he would have wished it"

"How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she's the one."

"Chuck Norris died a few hours ago. Don't worry, he's fine now."

"At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think ""I wish I could be a shark""."