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Joke of the Day

"Impractical Joke: Replace my girlfriends house cat's with mountain lions so she think's she is shrinking."

"If you follow the rules of grammar, people will always help you. If you don't, your on you're own."

"I just licked a knife.. It tasted like blood."

"Where can you find information about raisins that commit adultery? Currant Affairs"

"Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together"

"Don't discriminate, hate everyone equally."

"This guy is choking on the last hotdog I wanted so I'm just going to let him die."

"It's easier to find the needle in the haystack when you bring a flamethrower. That's a fact, jack. Merica."

"So, this co-worker stated that she makes ice cubes with her leftover alcohol. I'm confused. What's leftover alcohol?"

"[HR office] Do you know why we called you in today? To give me a pay rise? No. Because I googled 'How to burn down office' 600 times? Yes."