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Joke of the Day

"what did the cannibal get when he showed up late to a dinner party A cold shoulder"

"[sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

"Everyone on here complains about ""the hivemind"" and ""circlejerk"" ruining the site I don't get it, it's not like it's Comcast or anything?"

"I lost my job... I got fired from my job at the M&M's factory yesterday for throwing away all the W's."

"Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery It's shellfish."

"Why do priests cry during sex? There's no telling."

"Why is Santa's ball sack so big? He only comes once a year."

"Why was Macaulay Culkin an easy target for Michael Jackson? Because he was home alone."

"So true... Q: Why do women have boobs? A: So you have something to look at while you're talking to them!"

"It was odd seeing pecan logs at the grocery store... because I usually don't get the logs until after I eat the pecans."