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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the fat absent father? He was never around, but at least he was portly."

"How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool."

"*wakes up early on weekend *makes 12 pancakes *wakes kids up ""Daddy, can we have waffles today???"" *eats 12 pancakes"

"You dig ,I dig, she dig, he dig, we dig, they dig. It's not a great poem but it's very deep."

"What do you do if your partner starts smoking? Slow down. Use lube."

"A quick joke that my friend thought up over dinner Why do sailors marry busty women? To forever see the seven C's"

"I like my women like I like my wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh IN THE JUNGLE THE MIGHTY JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIIIIIIIIGHT"

"Cop: You doin drugs? ""No"" Cop: Whatya smokin? ""Pot"" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS ""Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"""

"Dumb and Nobody in class... Dumb: Teacher!! Teacher!! Nobody is bothering me. Teacher: Kid, are you dumb? Dumb: Yes."

"Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off."