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Joke of the Day

"I would like to be Santa Claus He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"Did you know you can tell whether an ant is male or female easily? Just drop it into water, if it sinks it's a girl ant. But if it floats it's a buoyant!"

"I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng neck. I want to date a giraffe basically."

"Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!"

"Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this."

"Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent"

"Girl, are you pi? 'Cause you are long and sweet."

"Why can't your children be like my office voice mail? Seen but not heard"

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind"

"Damn girl that's a very red bike. Are you a menstrual cyclist?"