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Joke of the Day

"Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]"

"India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. That's a heck of a place to put a call centre."

"Saturday plans: -get abducted then hunted by a group of rich guys on a game reserve, then systematically take them out one by one. - laundry"

"Where was Hitler sitting? Third from the Reich"

"Father: You're grounded. Son: Jim Morrison sucked! *storms off to room* Father: What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!"

"My neighbor upstairs bought a new treadmill and I accidentally just shot five holes in my ceiling."

"In bio practical: Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it's legs only? Sardar:I don't know. Examiner:You failed, what's your name? Sardar:See my legs & tell my name"

"People always freak out when I start playing their kid like a bass. It's like chill, you can play him like a bass too once I finish the song"

"Friend: Do you have a bird problem? Me: No. Friend: Why is there a scare crow in your compound. Me: Oh that? That's for people."

"Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:1. Stay together forever2. Break upNo pressure."