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Joke of the Day

"Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:1. Stay together forever2. Break upNo pressure."

"Did you hear about Greek porn? They can't do money shots anymore"

"I built a lighthouse... but it blew away."

"It's 2035: By law, all burglar alarms are fitted with projectors so burglars are distracted by dancing Tupac holograms until police arrive."

"The John Deere manure spreader It's the only product the company won't stand behind"

"About to hit the ball Boss: you said you'd played before? Me: uh yes Boss: that's a putter Me: Is that wrong? Boss: wrong for squash yes"

"What is red and green, and goes over 3000 miles per hour? A frog in the blender"

"Sarah Jessica Parker had a leaked sex tape... The man has been arrested for bestiality."

"Happy April's fools! ... No really, what did you expect?"

"I once told a guy I was going to attack him with the neck of a guitar... The guy said, ""IS THAT A FRET?"""