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Joke of the Day

"Why did Michael Jackson call Boys 2 Men? He thought they were a delivery service"

"I saw a man 3 foot 3 outside my house looking for my utilities readings Turns out he was the metre man"

"Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark."

"I doubt vodka has all the answers But it's worth a shot."

"I was gonna tell a pedophile joke but I always come in a little behind."

"*walks into lift* Guy: going down? Me: I'll need a first date for that. *silence* *doors open* Dammit Twitter!"

"Why is workplace sex uncommon in local government? Because they are mostly relatives."

"If I could pick a superpower it would be to clone myself so the other me could answer the 4,291,386 questions my 4 year old asks daily"

"If abortion is murder... wearing a condom must be kidnapping."

"Yo guys, does it smell like updog in here to you?"