202325

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Well, I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"

"I know it's time to wax my upper lip when the cashier at Firehouse Subs gives me the policeman's discount."

"I was going to major in cosmetology.. ..but then they shut down the space program.. idiots."

"Typical mexico..."

"When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me."

"Can you ""pray away"" asparagus pee?"

"Storm What do call if it was raining Nazis? A Heil storm"

"What do you get when you cross Adolf Hitler with a tree? A cunttree"

"i'm a homewrecker in the sense that i got sick out both ends in the attic and it soaked through the ceiling in 3 different rooms"

"You know yer addicted to twitter when you count letters in the surgeon general's warning on the vodka bottle & think ""Yeah, that would fit."""